Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin,
Like a house of cards
No Katy, no I do not. I think that would be Alice or the Queen of Hearts. I could blow her over. Lewis Carroll may appreciate this metaphor but the rest of us don't really want to follow rabbits into holes or play croquet with an ace of spades. I like my house made of bricks, thank you. The big bad wolf couldn't blow that over.
Safety first,
TGO13
22.2.11
Kat-y Perr-y
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag,
Drifting through the wind,
Wanting to start again?
Primary commentary, as my co-author tgo13 so appropriately pointed out: plastic bags don't get to start again. They are not recyclable; in fact, they are one of the most damaging items mis-appropriated into the recycling bin - they shred easily and clog the processing machines at waste processing facilities. You're killing the baby sea turtles.
On a more superficial note, Katy, we don't need a reminder of what it feels like to float along, bloated and billowing - aren't eating disorders rampant enough? Now you force us to relive our fat days? And your suggestion for a coping mechanism? Arson. Pyromania. Blowing things up like a "fiiiiiiiiiiiiirewoork". Really?
Oh, and voice cracks. I've heard you attempt this song live, Miss Perry, and all the "ah-ah-ah"s and "oh-oh-oh"s are pain inducing. The neighborhood dogs do seem to enjoy a good howl-along, though.
I'm all about exuberance and showing your True Colors (I see you, Phil Collins) and everything, but this just seems like a cursory attempt to disguise your whining voice as a motivation song for tween girlies. Could you pretty please drop a line to my local radio station and tell them to stop playing this song every 30 minutes? I cannot be held responsible for any road rage this song generates.
Thanx,
T-ST-B
Drifting through the wind,
Wanting to start again?
Primary commentary, as my co-author tgo13 so appropriately pointed out: plastic bags don't get to start again. They are not recyclable; in fact, they are one of the most damaging items mis-appropriated into the recycling bin - they shred easily and clog the processing machines at waste processing facilities. You're killing the baby sea turtles.
On a more superficial note, Katy, we don't need a reminder of what it feels like to float along, bloated and billowing - aren't eating disorders rampant enough? Now you force us to relive our fat days? And your suggestion for a coping mechanism? Arson. Pyromania. Blowing things up like a "fiiiiiiiiiiiiirewoork". Really?
Oh, and voice cracks. I've heard you attempt this song live, Miss Perry, and all the "ah-ah-ah"s and "oh-oh-oh"s are pain inducing. The neighborhood dogs do seem to enjoy a good howl-along, though.
I'm all about exuberance and showing your True Colors (I see you, Phil Collins) and everything, but this just seems like a cursory attempt to disguise your whining voice as a motivation song for tween girlies. Could you pretty please drop a line to my local radio station and tell them to stop playing this song every 30 minutes? I cannot be held responsible for any road rage this song generates.
Thanx,
T-ST-B
Ode to the princess of punk
Dear true teeny boppers,
Like my fellow blogger, Taylor and I started out as friends. I jammed out to “you belong with me” and felt like she was in my head with the “story of us.” I loved “love story” and wanted to be “fearless.” I often thought, where was Taylor when I was in high school? She could have gotten me through so much.
Then I thought back to my teenage years and remembered who got me through those days:
Avril Lavigne
Rather than just singing hopeful songs of a hypothetical prince charming and ballads of a broken heart, Avril kicked boys out of her bed. She called guys out for being too complicated and girls for being too shallow. She dumped guys who picked drugs over her and those who pushed her too far. Taylor will be there for you when you need to wallow in self misery, but Avril will reach out her hand and pull you back up. Taylor will still be in her best dress in the rain. Or in the snow in shorts. There’s no such thing as winter shorts. Pink is a good color, as long as it’s accompanied by black.
I think back to all my time with Taylor and think what the hell?
Next time I look for prince charming, I’ll remember his mode of transportation is a skateboard.
I don’t want to go back to december. That month sucked.
TGO13
Like my fellow blogger, Taylor and I started out as friends. I jammed out to “you belong with me” and felt like she was in my head with the “story of us.” I loved “love story” and wanted to be “fearless.” I often thought, where was Taylor when I was in high school? She could have gotten me through so much.
Then I thought back to my teenage years and remembered who got me through those days:
Avril Lavigne
Rather than just singing hopeful songs of a hypothetical prince charming and ballads of a broken heart, Avril kicked boys out of her bed. She called guys out for being too complicated and girls for being too shallow. She dumped guys who picked drugs over her and those who pushed her too far. Taylor will be there for you when you need to wallow in self misery, but Avril will reach out her hand and pull you back up. Taylor will still be in her best dress in the rain. Or in the snow in shorts. There’s no such thing as winter shorts. Pink is a good color, as long as it’s accompanied by black.
I think back to all my time with Taylor and think what the hell?
Next time I look for prince charming, I’ll remember his mode of transportation is a skateboard.
I don’t want to go back to december. That month sucked.
TGO13
21.2.11
Zac
Dear Zac,
Where have you gone? Since you have disappeared off of the face of Disney, I have become a belieber. I used to have a poster of you on my wall, now I own jb silly bandz. I appreciated your reappearance on the screen with Charlie St. Cloud, but that moment was too fleeting. Save us twenty something beliebers from the fate the end of HSM doomed us to. I thought we were all in this together. I never forgot my first love; don't forget your fans that watched you date a dead girl.
TGO13
19.2.11
Justin, Part 2.
Baby Bieber,
I loved your movie, Never Say Never in 3D. Loved. It. I danced, I sang along (sorry, seatmates), I clapped and cheered, I rejoiced. Tip of the hat for upping the pop game.
One complaint, though: why the 3D? Sure, the concert scenes were sick, and the flying words were sweet. But that part where you sing "I'm coming for you-" and point right at the camera? That part? Yeah, you see, you pointed right at ME. You've always been singing right to me - I feel the heartache, the hope, I knew it deep inside all along - but now you've confirmed it.
My problem is, I'd rather just have you next to me in person. You're making my case of Bieber Fever worse. And now I have even more girls to swim through to get to you. So, thanks. 'Preciate it.
Tweet at me, please! <3
-T-ST-B
I loved your movie, Never Say Never in 3D. Loved. It. I danced, I sang along (sorry, seatmates), I clapped and cheered, I rejoiced. Tip of the hat for upping the pop game.
One complaint, though: why the 3D? Sure, the concert scenes were sick, and the flying words were sweet. But that part where you sing "I'm coming for you-" and point right at the camera? That part? Yeah, you see, you pointed right at ME. You've always been singing right to me - I feel the heartache, the hope, I knew it deep inside all along - but now you've confirmed it.
My problem is, I'd rather just have you next to me in person. You're making my case of Bieber Fever worse. And now I have even more girls to swim through to get to you. So, thanks. 'Preciate it.
Tweet at me, please! <3
-T-ST-B
18.2.11
Miley Cyrus
Dear Miley Cyrus,
HANNAH MONTANA IS OVER?!?!?! teen-star-smoking-salvia-say-what? I thought it was Hannah Montana FOREVER not Hannah Montana for now! I’m just so lost, I do not know where invest my tv time and money anymore. JB is ass-grabbing Selena, Demi is not so Sonny these days, and Taylor is dating guys way to old for her. I just don’t know who to emulate or form my false delusions of reality around. I know “Nobody’s Perfect” but I need a role model here! I guess I’ll resort to fictional characters; Bella seems totally independent and self-actualized. Or worse: Nickelodeon. Miranda Cosgrove, this may be your moment to shine.
Love,
the newest iCarly fan
tgo13
HANNAH MONTANA IS OVER?!?!?! teen-star-smoking-salvia-say-what? I thought it was Hannah Montana FOREVER not Hannah Montana for now! I’m just so lost, I do not know where invest my tv time and money anymore. JB is ass-grabbing Selena, Demi is not so Sonny these days, and Taylor is dating guys way to old for her. I just don’t know who to emulate or form my false delusions of reality around. I know “Nobody’s Perfect” but I need a role model here! I guess I’ll resort to fictional characters; Bella seems totally independent and self-actualized. Or worse: Nickelodeon. Miranda Cosgrove, this may be your moment to shine.
Love,
the newest iCarly fan
tgo13
Justin
Dearest Justin,
I am a #Belieber, no question about it. I check your twitter feed religiously, I recognized when you got a hair cut, and I cried when you surprised that fan on Ellen (no, really. I cried.)
I jam to your music all the time. In fact, I jam to it so much that I make regular references to your lyrics in everyday conversation; there is no doubt that I Love You. (#NeverSayNever)
However, there is this one line that I have to ask you about: in "Pray", you begin by crooning,
However, being the huge softie Teeny-Bopper that I am, I appreciate the sentiment behind your song and adore the heartfelt concern you're expressing. That pesky Twenty-Something is just a little hesitant about a literal interpretation here.
<3 u 4ever,
a T-ST-B
I am a #Belieber, no question about it. I check your twitter feed religiously, I recognized when you got a hair cut, and I cried when you surprised that fan on Ellen (no, really. I cried.)
I jam to your music all the time. In fact, I jam to it so much that I make regular references to your lyrics in everyday conversation; there is no doubt that I Love You. (#NeverSayNever)
However, there is this one line that I have to ask you about: in "Pray", you begin by crooning,
I just can't sleep tonight, knowing that things ain't right...Let's be real, you travel all the time on long red-eye flights and bus trips between venues. You sleep. Sometimes, you even sleep at night.
However, being the huge softie Teeny-Bopper that I am, I appreciate the sentiment behind your song and adore the heartfelt concern you're expressing. That pesky Twenty-Something is just a little hesitant about a literal interpretation here.
<3 u 4ever,
a T-ST-B
Miley Stewart
Dear Miley,
Good for you! You chose your friends’ dream over yours! How thoughtful :) Although I can’t really suspend my disbelief enough to accept the idea that you and Lilly both got into Stanford, I’m sure am glad all that effort you put into your school work while being a world wide pop sensation really paid off. And you are so right, you don’t get another chance to go to college with your best friend. It’s not like people go back to college in adulthood. And that degree from Stanford will be really useful considering you probably won’t probably won’t get another movie offer by Steven Spielberg now that you turned him down. Selena Gomez, look out, Tom Cruise needs a co-star!
I really hope you and Lilly don’t change at all in college so that the sacrifices you are making are totally worth. But let’s be honest, I am totally the same person I was when I graduated high school. I don’t have new friends or a new outlook on life or new anything. I’m basically a 17 year old stuck in a 22 year old body. And it’s not like Stanford it that good of a school, I’m sure it won’t challenge any of your beliefs. Come on, it’s not like you are going to Harvard.
You are so giving; sacrificing your stardom to be with your best friend. It's so important to disregard all your own dreams and desires for someone else no matter the cost. I am a really crappy person, I don’t even have the same best friend as I did 5 years ago! But I appreciate the value you put on education. I hope Selena, that other Miley, the Jonas Brothers and JB will follow suit. Forget the fame, School is Cool!
- twenty going on thirteen (tgo13)
- twenty going on thirteen (tgo13)
Taylor
Dear Taylor Swift,
You've got me on a roller-coaster. Our love / hate relationship is too much, I almost just want you out of my life. You charmed me through the summer, singing all those lyrics that speak straight tomy heart and living all of my fairy tale dreams - I've seen the "Love Story" music video. Don't pretend you didn't do that on purpose.
Those were the sunny days of our relationship, when I belted your anthems with you - "I'm Only Me When I'm With You" and "You Belong With Me" were best sung to the steering wheel, "Fearless" on repeat with my hairbrush in my room, and "Stay Beautiful" while twirling around in my sundress. I still taste sweet tea and lemonade when I hear "Our Song", Taylor.
Then we got angry. This was good, I was still with you. These were angsty Fall days full of wind and lots of running. "Picture to Burn" made me glare at every male specimen I passed. I supported you through all of "The Way I Loved You", full of angry fists and regret, and I hated him just as violently in "You're Not Sorry". What a jerk.
Following every uphill charge, Taylor, there's always a downhill: after the anger, we were sad and melancholy. "Teardrops On My Guitar" - who doesn't have a Drew or two in their past? I was right there in that Chevy truck for "Tim McGraw" and I dreamed about those senior boys in "Fifteen" (and cried a bit for Abigail). And I mourned the lack of a dream man in "White Horse", and I pined for him too in "Hey Stephen": "all those other girls, well, they're beautiful but would they write a song for you?" We were the lonely good girls club.
But you see, Taylor, then you did two things that shattered my faith in you:
1. "Back to December": this is all about your regret. You fucked up, girl. And, I don't really feel bad for you. In fact, I really just want to steal the man you hurt. Sorry 'bout it, you shouldn't have chosen this guy to co-star in your video, you know he's too cute for you. And you have shorts on in the snow. Disrespect.
2. Then, the ultimate violation of our girl bond: "Today Was a Fairytale". Yes, this is every girl's daydream, but at this point you're just bragging. All I get out of this is how much worse my day is than yours, Taylor. No, I don't have a Prince, he doesn't wear a dark gray t-shirt, he's not Taylor Lautner (another one of your mistakes - why'd you break his wolfie heart?), and I CAN'T feel the magic in the air because no one's kissing me. So, frankly Taylor, shut up. Stop being a snob. And stop having perfect hair, no one can keep up with that.
I'm going to go color my nails black with a sharpie I borrowed from Avril. Come find me when you think we're in the same emotional place again.
- A Twenty-Something Teeny-Bopper (T-ST-B)
You've got me on a roller-coaster. Our love / hate relationship is too much, I almost just want you out of my life. You charmed me through the summer, singing all those lyrics that speak straight tomy heart and living all of my fairy tale dreams - I've seen the "Love Story" music video. Don't pretend you didn't do that on purpose.
Those were the sunny days of our relationship, when I belted your anthems with you - "I'm Only Me When I'm With You" and "You Belong With Me" were best sung to the steering wheel, "Fearless" on repeat with my hairbrush in my room, and "Stay Beautiful" while twirling around in my sundress. I still taste sweet tea and lemonade when I hear "Our Song", Taylor.
Then we got angry. This was good, I was still with you. These were angsty Fall days full of wind and lots of running. "Picture to Burn" made me glare at every male specimen I passed. I supported you through all of "The Way I Loved You", full of angry fists and regret, and I hated him just as violently in "You're Not Sorry". What a jerk.
Following every uphill charge, Taylor, there's always a downhill: after the anger, we were sad and melancholy. "Teardrops On My Guitar" - who doesn't have a Drew or two in their past? I was right there in that Chevy truck for "Tim McGraw" and I dreamed about those senior boys in "Fifteen" (and cried a bit for Abigail). And I mourned the lack of a dream man in "White Horse", and I pined for him too in "Hey Stephen": "all those other girls, well, they're beautiful but would they write a song for you?" We were the lonely good girls club.
But you see, Taylor, then you did two things that shattered my faith in you:
1. "Back to December": this is all about your regret. You fucked up, girl. And, I don't really feel bad for you. In fact, I really just want to steal the man you hurt. Sorry 'bout it, you shouldn't have chosen this guy to co-star in your video, you know he's too cute for you. And you have shorts on in the snow. Disrespect.
2. Then, the ultimate violation of our girl bond: "Today Was a Fairytale". Yes, this is every girl's daydream, but at this point you're just bragging. All I get out of this is how much worse my day is than yours, Taylor. No, I don't have a Prince, he doesn't wear a dark gray t-shirt, he's not Taylor Lautner (another one of your mistakes - why'd you break his wolfie heart?), and I CAN'T feel the magic in the air because no one's kissing me. So, frankly Taylor, shut up. Stop being a snob. And stop having perfect hair, no one can keep up with that.
I'm going to go color my nails black with a sharpie I borrowed from Avril. Come find me when you think we're in the same emotional place again.
- A Twenty-Something Teeny-Bopper (T-ST-B)
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