Taylor

Dear Taylor Swift,

You've got me on a roller-coaster. Our love / hate relationship is too much, I almost just want you out of my life. You charmed me through the summer, singing all those lyrics that speak straight tomy heart and living all of my fairy tale dreams - I've seen the "Love Story" music video. Don't pretend you didn't do that on purpose.

Those were the sunny days of our relationship, when I belted your anthems with you - "I'm Only Me When I'm With You" and "You Belong With Me" were best sung to the steering wheel, "Fearless" on repeat with my hairbrush in my room, and "Stay Beautiful" while twirling around in my sundress. I still taste sweet tea and lemonade when I hear "Our Song", Taylor.

Then we got angry. This was good, I was still with you. These were angsty Fall days full of wind and lots of running. "Picture to Burn" made me glare at every male specimen I passed. I supported you through all of "The Way I Loved You",  full of angry fists and regret, and I hated him just as violently in "You're Not Sorry". What a jerk.

Following every uphill charge, Taylor, there's always a downhill: after the anger, we were sad and melancholy. "Teardrops On My Guitar" - who doesn't have a Drew or two in their past? I was right there in that Chevy truck for "Tim McGraw" and I dreamed about those senior boys in "Fifteen" (and cried a bit for Abigail). And I mourned the lack of a dream man in "White Horse", and I pined for him too in "Hey Stephen": "all those other girls, well, they're beautiful but would they write a song for you?" We were the lonely good girls club.

But you see, Taylor, then you did two things that shattered my faith in you:

1. "Back to December": this is all about your regret. You fucked up, girl. And, I don't really feel bad for you. In fact, I really just want to steal the man you hurt. Sorry 'bout it, you shouldn't have chosen this guy to co-star in your video, you know he's too cute for you. And you have shorts on in the snow. Disrespect.

2. Then, the ultimate violation of our girl bond: "Today Was a Fairytale". Yes, this is every girl's daydream, but at this point you're just bragging. All I get out of this is how much worse my day is than yours, Taylor. No, I don't have a Prince, he doesn't wear a dark gray t-shirt, he's not Taylor Lautner (another one of your mistakes - why'd you break his wolfie heart?), and I CAN'T feel the magic in the air because no one's kissing me. So, frankly Taylor, shut up. Stop being a snob. And stop having perfect hair, no one can keep up with that.

I'm going to go color my nails black with a sharpie I borrowed from Avril. Come find me when you think we're in the same emotional place again.

- A Twenty-Something Teeny-Bopper (T-ST-B)